Delivering feedback is one of the most valuable things a mentor can do — and one of the easiest to get wrong. Feedback that lands well moves a mentee forward. Feedback that misses lands as criticism, and the mentee quietly stops bringing their real challenges to sessions.
The Difference Between Useful and Harmful Feedback
Useful feedback is specific, timely, and focused on behaviour rather than identity. Instead of “you lack confidence,” a mentor might say “in the last three team meetings you let two of your ideas get talked over — here is what I noticed, and here is what we could try.” One version labels a person; the other describes an observable pattern and opens a path forward.
A Simple Framework for Delivering Feedback
- Observe: Describe what you saw or heard, without interpretation.
- Impact: Explain the effect that behaviour had on the outcome or on others.
- Suggest: Offer one concrete adjustment the mentee could try next time.
- Invite: Ask for the mentee’s perspective before closing the loop.
Timing and Context Matter
Feedback is best given soon after the event it refers to, when details are fresh for both parties. Delivering it in a private, low-pressure setting makes it easier to receive. Stacking multiple pieces of critical feedback into a single session can overwhelm a mentee and reduce the chance that any of it sticks.
Asking Permission Builds Receptiveness
A small habit with outsized impact: ask before giving feedback. “I noticed something during your presentation — would it be useful to talk through it?” This simple question shifts the mentee from a passive recipient to an active participant, which makes them far more likely to engage with what follows.
Balancing Positive and Developmental Feedback
Mentoring is not exclusively about fixing gaps. Regularly naming what a mentee is doing well reinforces those behaviours and builds the trust needed for harder conversations. A consistent pattern of encouragement alongside honest challenge is the hallmark of a mentor whose feedback is genuinely welcomed.